Friday, April 1, 2011

Blogfest: The Magic Ring

As part of a super fantastic blogfest in honor of Elizabeth's fantastic fifty followers, I am posting the only story I have ever completed in my entire life, recently discovered in my parents' basement underneath a pile of holiday decorations and dust. I'm actually traveling right now, so I'm not able to post it in its entirety or with the images I had promised, but I will get them up as soon as I can. I was thinking it might be nice to do this as a series, since I don’t want anyone’s eyeballs to erupt into flames from the awfulness.

In order to retain some semblance of dignity, I will not be telling you how old I was when I wrote this, but I will say that it was prior to taken a decent English class. I have left the story "intact" and in its full glory (aka, spelling and grammar errors abound… yes this was the first paragraph. Which also happened to be the entire first page. I love large fonts.). Please to enjoy:


The Magic Ring

Many years ago in a land called Finchton, a young princess, named Sandra, lived with her mother and her brother. She had long, wavy brown hair. Her bangs feel over her face blocking the view of her most striking feature. Her eyes, which seemed to stare right through people, were an almost invisible, crystal blue. They didn’t seem to match with her dark hair and brown tan. Her brother was the one who made her cut her hair to cover her eyes. He thought that when she was with him everyone was looking at her and not him. Her brother, Xander, was king and felt that everything should be his way or nothing at all. Sandra’s father had been the king before, but he disappeared last year while fighting in a war. The Beniffs, a people from a kingdom across the big river, had tried to expand their castle across the river. A war had broken out and it lasted almost a year. The king had been lost, but the Beniffs had retreated. Before the war, Finchton had been a prosperous kingdom, but after King Theo disappear the land fell apart. As soon as the king had been reported missing her brother had taken control of the land. He was an heartless and wicked king. He made the peasants work all day long with no pay and then at the end of every month he taxed them even more. Xander cared nothing for anyone, but himself and all he wanted was money. One day Sandra decided she was fed up with the way her brother was treating everyone. She had never given up the hope that her father was still alive and now, she decided, it was time to see if she could find him. She got a beaded bag made of golden thread from her room and went outside to the shack in the back of her house. This was where the servants kept their tools. She knew that the guards would be watching for intruders on the castle grounds tonight, so she needed a way to sneak by them and over the tall wall that surrounds the castle. She took a rope and a black gardener’s robe, to keep her warm, and hid them in the bag. She snuck back inside and into the map room. She grabbed a map of the forest and a blueprint of the Beniffs castle. Then she snuck back inside and up to her room.




Oh, yes. She did sneak back inside twice! She's super sneaky. Who knows what she was worrying about. And for those of you wondering, the first illustration is a drawing of Sandra. So, you can see those crystal blue as just as soon as I get a hold of a scanner.

5 comments:

  1. This is amazing. I love this story so much! I love how even then you had a strong voice. I am noticing that more and more, that even in our early crappy writing, we can still see our voices peeking up at us.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love it. I just do. And I cannot wait until you get a scanner.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I really kind of love this too. As much as the writing isn't as great as it could be, it's a story I would totally read. Have you thought about picking up that plot again?

    I really want to know how old you were! :)

    ~Tara

    ReplyDelete
  4. Don't you love old stories like this? I've found a lot of my really old stuff and it's so fun to read through it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh man, you guys are too kind. What's embarassing is that I still make a lot of these same mistakes- too many commas, telling instead of showing. I really enjoy just smacking people upside the head with the facts. Hey! Everyone! She has way awesome blue eyes! Her brother's a jerk!!

    I'm still playing catch up from this past weekend, but I will get the first illustration up soon. And more then there's more to come. I plan on posting the entire story.

    Tara, I would totally revisit this story- if I hadn't done it soooo perfectly the first time. :) But seriously, when I found this and read it, I was laughing so hard I cried. I don't think I could top it.

    Here's a hint at my age: I wasn't old enough to drive, but I was old enough to type the story on a computer (which makes the spelling errors even worse...).

    ReplyDelete